Broken Birthing

Well, I've hit 24 weeks now, and I'm also considering exactly what my plan will be in birthing this kiddo.

Unfortunately- I must have pulled a muscle or really irritated my lower back sciatic, because I'm in a world of hurt today. It really put into perspective the next 111 days ahead of me and my seperated symphysis, or seperated pubic bone.

After reading a few articles on WHAT on earth I might be able to do to relieve myself of any more discomfort from this condition, I am finding my hope is bleak.

Not only is there very little I can do right now to make this feel better, but there is a whole lot more I HAVE to do to prevent it from getting worse. Lists of ways I cant bith, "NO induction, no epidural, no laying on your back, no laying on your side, no this, no that..." Really all I found I was allowed to do was squat, sit and stand.

This is very frusterating since, when you get to that point, your muscles twitch and shake and you dont feel like bearing any load on them. I had my heart set on the same type of birth I had with Daniel. I went into labor with him the morning after his due date, birthed in the tub for 45 minutes (in that time went from 3-10 cent) and after 15 min of pushing, out came a healthy vibrant, awake and curiouse little boy. NO pain meds, no induction, just good old fashion body endorphins, midwife, hospital comforts away from multiple needy kiddos, and love.

When I broke the news to the main midwife at my clinic I finally had the chance to meet, she folded her hands in her lap and looked at me as if I had just informed her I had cancer. Very somber and empathetic. They just had a few ladies give birth with the condition recently.

Where am I mentally now? Well, I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful that it will be swift and easy and memorable. How many people have 6 pregnancies in 7 years? This may very well be my last, and I might as well enjoy every last painful bit. :-)