Yesterday, after being 'taken care of' by my husband, the contractions tetered down & there was only the remenants of the action via lingering contractions, all uncomfortable- but once and a while. When I would walk to the kitchen, they would start, when I would sit or rest- they would stop. Drama, I say. Pure drama.
Now I literally feel- like crap. I just feel tired, drained and depressed- not because of how things are going, but because it's just the way my body feels, my hormones have taken a downward .
My mother is going to try and come out starting this weekend, but honestly- Im not sure what will become of this or if it will happen within a week, or what not. My body teases me relentlessly, and Im not tired of being pregnant- Im tired of being inbetween Progress and idleness.
Make up your mind, I say.
Either DO SOMETHING and make progress towards the birthing goal, or just let it be, and let me be happy. :-)
From here, all one can do is put their hands up in the air, throw their heads back, and laugh like a villian who thinks they are getting away with the loot.
Jay is also leaving next thurs or friday to leave for an interview (flight) so now I'm thinking about the 'what if's".
Worst comes to worst, I will have the baby, Jay will be gone- but oh well. The goal is that the baby is out, but I will feel sad for the missed opportunity to see the last one born, on his behalf if that's what happens. Who knows anything anymore? Not i, because nature has it's own course, it's own science, and we think we are all so smart that we can drum to the same tune and beat. Heh heh heh , little do we know...
-Jyn
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